Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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