then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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