Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
