Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
