Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
