its not stalking. its research.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
