i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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