is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
