mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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