dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
