I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im six kinds of drunk right now
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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