dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to make a zoo with you.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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