Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize