Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize