Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
