I don't think brook has ever known best
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
