It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize