it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
