At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
