Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
