You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
