YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
