Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
