Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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