After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
