I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
