At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
