woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
