I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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