Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
