how can u be prego again
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
