break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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