A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
