The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize