dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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