so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
