Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
