your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
