I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
