I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i already hear my dad disowning me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
