Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
