I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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