I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
