Nicole vs. Life
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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