this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
