I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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