He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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