His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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