So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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