the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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