I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize