He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize