First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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