you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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