Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
