Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
