bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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