He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
another moral hangover. fuck.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
