He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
