I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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