I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
