I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
