we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
