No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
