i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
