She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
